Rotten Little Girls

Firstly, if asked “feminist or not a feminist?” my answer would be “feminist,” without a doubt, but I have never been one to vocally oppose the pressures women receive in our society. “Someone else will do it,” I always thought, and in actuality they did, although much fewer than what is ideal. It wasn’t until last spring when I took a course called “Comparative Perspectives on the Body” that I began to question and open dialogue with the people around me about so-called “societal norms” when it came to women. In the second month of class, we were on the topic of menstruation and the ways societies around the world have approached, ignored, commented on this natural female process. As we read about the influences of society on a woman when she is first starting to understand her body and its processes, I realized that I myself was a victim to American and Japanese society.

I started proud at age 12, (I was a real woman now!) but as the cramps worsened, the pads gave me rashes and my mom told me I must always be discrete about my period, I learned to hate that time of the month and can even recall spending a lot of time peeling the wrapper off of my pads in order to keep quiet, so that my dad didn’t know that I had my period.

Many of our readings for class confronted similar experiences, but still more shocking were the ways in which our society, specifically science, subconsciously brainwashed us into this shame. That’s right, science! I was skeptical too, but the evidence was in front of me. I don’t have the exact text that I read for the class, but Merriam-Webster says menstruation is:

“a discharging of blood, secretions, and tissue debris from the uterus that recurs in nonpregnant breeding-age primate females at approximately monthly intervals and that is considered to represent a readjustment of the uterus to the nonpregnant state following proliferative changes accompanying the preceding ovulation.”

Does that sound pretty normal to you? Perhaps it does, but look closely at the word choice: “discharging” and “debris”? If you’re still skeptical, I’m not surprised, but it’s when you look at descriptions for other similar bodily that “discharges debris” that you start to realize that even the most unbiased of sources are telling women to be ashamed of their period. The periodic process that our stomach lining undergoes for instance, I recall a quoted textbook mentioning that it was “shedding away old cells in preparation for renewal,” and “cleansing our bodies.” Pretty different huh?

All of that to tell you that period=bad has been ingrained in us by society in the most unexpected ways. Phew, didn’t mean it to be so long-winded. Anyways, realizing this was important to me, even if it didn’t lessen my cramps or take the hassle out of buying pads and tampons every month or two. At least the empowering readings in class about menstruation made me proud to have my period. I could now confidently think, “Yeah I have my period, but it’s a part of my womanhood and I’m damn proud of it.” Eventually, I started voicing these opinions, and when my male friends would cringe at the word “menstruation” I would tape tampons to their doors as “gifts.” Whether that was mature or not, I was no longer embarrassed to let it be known that I had my period, and that was a pretty big leap forward looking at my past.

All right, so now comes the amazing part. Blogs. There were so many blogs I read during that time of tampon presents and empowerment that were the exact catalysts I needed to keep up this dialogue about menstruation, women and our society. It was on an uneventful afternoon when I stumbled upon a blog entry about cloth pads, menstrual cups and other alternative menstrual products. “WHAT?” I gawked in shock. Reusing the same fabric over and over again? Putting a silicone cup in your vagina? I curled up in appall with the words on the screen. I dismissed this entry only 10 minutes later due to all lack of maturity. But a few weeks later, I saw another blogger talking about the “fabulous” menstrual cup she was using. Now I was curious. I scoured the internet for more information on alternative menstrual products, and what do you know, there were entire forums devoted to these things!

Could it be? Oh my goodness! It’s that big? In my vagina? Using my fingers? It collects the blood? Do I have to look at the blood? YES?! Noooo…

It goes on, but you know, after being exposed to something for so long, you start to build immunity. And after you build that immunity, you start to warm up to that idea. That’s exactly what happened to me when two months later I purchased my first menstrual cup. I had heard that the learning curve for these cups were Much Steeper than learning to put tampons in, so naturally I was nervous. The first few times I put it in, I could hardly bear the pain. I finally surrendered and realized that I must be doing something wrong, which I was. I watched a tutorial on youtube (Thank You Youtube!!!) and tried it again and voila, it didn’t hurt!

I remember going around campus that day telling all of my friends that I had a menstrual cup in and wasn’t that so cool? Most of them were just as appalled as I was when I first read about it. A few months later, now, I’ve become a sort of unofficial endorser of these small silicone cups. I even facilitated a workshop on alternative menstrual products at my school in October, and have been telling other people about it who have never heard about it, or if they have, believe in the myths.

“How can you bear to see all of that blood and stick your fingers up there?” they ask me, but it’s almost weird how comfortable I am with it now. I mean, did you know that menstrual blood is good for plants? Before you cast me off as a crazy lady who feeds her plants blood (Little Shop of Horrors anyone?), hear me out, because our periods are a natural part of our bodies. So are other excretions, which in some places of the world are still being used as fertilizer. That’s not my point though. My point is that I feel completely comfortable with my period now, and I feel more in touch (literally) with my body and therefore my womanhood because I know the curves and the bumps that define my vagina.

Other reasons to try alternative menstrual products? The National Women’s Health Network, estimate that in the United States alone, over 12 billion pads and 7 million tampons are used once and disposed of every year. You might also be able to guess that they take a very long time to break down and also release toxic chemicals into the earth. Not only are they harmful for the earth, but also they’re expensive, can be bad for your body, and are a hassle to carry around/be fully stocked.

I reached another milestone a couple of weeks ago when my mom called me to ask me if I could buy her a menstrual cup and teach her how to use it during Thanksgiving break. Then, when my dad came to pick me up I boasted about the workshop I held. He looked painfully uncomfortable but I persisted, and he said, “That’s very good M.” It’s at least a start.

If you’re interested in alternative menstrual products, here’s a list of helpful sites I made for the workshop.

I am far from being as eloquent or articulate with my writing as my cousin or Dollyann, but this is my story (at least part of it), and I hope it opened some of your eyes.