1. United States is a democracy
2. Therefore, we have the moral authority over all non-democratic countries
3. Iraq is not a democracy
4. We start war in Iraq to make Iraq a democracy, because democracy = good morals
5. We take Iraqi prisoners and put them in Abu Ghraib
6. United States soldiers torture and rape some of those prisoners
7. Justice served?

Fuck this bullshit. If we are going to be so high and mighty as to spread democracy like it’s our “God-given duty,” why the hell are we not living up to our own goddamn “morals”?? For those who call the U.S. a Christian nation…ever heard of love thy neighbor? Okay, so maybe some of these prisoners are “potential terrorists”. They are in prison. That’s good enough right? Oh no, we need to drill them for information (or misinformation, under the duress of torture) in order to put MORE of them in our prison. What’s the best way to get information? Rape & torture, obviously.

Could you imagine the outrage and public outcries if the situation were reversed?

Ever heard of fucking human rights?

Sorry to rant, but I can’t even begin to explain how upset I am when the American public is lied to, kept in the dark, and basically handled with kid-gloves. Though they did not occur under his term, President Obama has decided to NOT release the photographs of torture and rape in order to protect our troops abroad. Not that I want to see these pictures, honestly, but I think that people should be able to see more hard evidence of our deeds, misdeeds, and so on. I also think there should be a public trial of those implicated in the crimes. How can we be proud of our country if we don’t even know what the fuck we are blindly standing for?

Should Obama release the pictures? Should there be a public trial? What can be done to prevent this hypocrisy in the future? Fuck this bullshit.

It is interesting to me that our society cannot accept the notion that women are capable of violence and cruelty equal to that of some men. Certain kinds of violence are associated primarily with women (like hitting, pinching, biting, scratching, and so on), whereas other forms of violence are often associated with men (such as punching, head-slamming, kicking, and rape). Rape in particular is usually defined as a sexual crime committed by a man on a woman or man, but women are rarely found to be sexual aggressors. Yet, just because it is rare doesn’t make it impossible.

When a woman kills we cannot begin to fathom her motives. We are uncomfortable with the very idea of a mother harming a child, let alone sexually assaulting that child. Yet at the same time, we hear of fathers sexually abusing children all too commonly. At what point do we abandon our preconceived notions of gender and behavior? Do statistics on violent crimes and who commits them prove that there is an essential difference between men and women? Or do we just chalk it up to the fact that some people (no matter their gender) are just majorly fucked up?

Female violence is all too often eroticized for male pleasure (“catfights” and bikini mud-wrestling, anyone?), yet woe be the woman who raises a hand against a man. Female violence, in reality, is often thought to provoke male violence (in other words, male violence is justifiable if a woman hits first; it is appropriate to retaliate). For example, many rumors circulating around the Chris Brown/Rihanna domestic abuse case perpetuated the idea that Rihanna provoked her beating by hitting or slapping Chris Brown. This brings up some important questions:

1) Is there ever a situation in which violence is acceptable and/or justifiable?
2) Is there any instance in which male violence towards females is justified? What about female violence directed toward a male? Male to male? And so on.

Ideally, in the Chris Brown/Rihanna case, one or both parties would have walked away before the situation escalated. However, I think it is important to note that Chris Brown was in the car’s driver’s seat and therefore had more power to stop the situation and/or allow Rihanna to leave peacefully. Whether Rihanna started the physical fight or not, I do not think he was right to retaliate with more violence. Not only is Chris Brown stronger than Rihanna, but his punches definitely did more damage than any alleged hitting or slapping (which we can see from the gruesome pictures spread on the internet in the recent months). Of course, I am not advocating female violence against men either. Unfortunately, there seem to be countless grey areas when it comes to domestic violence and other violent situations.

What are your thoughts on violence (either towards women or perpetrated by women?) Do you have an answer to any of the questions I posed above? I’d love to hear your thoughts, as this is a complicated topic with perhaps no right answer.

1) Rape is bad.
2) If a woman (or man) says “No” or is otherwise incapacitated (i.e. drunk, asleep) and a man persists in penetrating her orally, anally or vaginally, it is rape.
3) Rape is not entertaining.

While these seem like pretty obvious statements, not everyone agrees with them. For one thing, rape is used as a tool of war (even by American troops), so not everyone thinks it’s all that bad apparently. Secondly, many people do not believe that date/acquaintance rape exists, or think that if a woman dresses provocatively or flirts with a man, she is asking for it (and therefore it is not rape). These are all very problematic standpoints. However, at least in American society, I would say that a substantial amount of people agree with statements 1 and 2. Apparently, however, lots of people think rape is entertaining. Don’t believe me?

There is a game that has been around for a few years in Japan called Rapelay. It has gained recent press coverage in the United States because Amazon sold the game through its United Kingdom branch. After customers complained to Amazon, it took the game off its proverbial “shelves” and has issued statements of apology. Of course, the game is available online (with English translations), so it doesn’t really matter that Western stores aren’t selling it.

What is Rapelay you might ask? From the numerous articles written on the subject lately, I gather that it’s a game in which a male protagonist gets out of prison after serving time for – you guessed it – raping and groping a woman (who he later takes revenge on in the game). I’m not too clear on the plotline, thankfully, but one of the main plots of the game is the molestation and rape of a mother and her two underaged daughters. Bonus features include forcing your female victims to get abortions, enlisting friends to gang rape women with you, etc etc etc. Disgusted yet? Apparently this is part of a niche video game genre in Japan called eroge…which means there are more games like this out there. Just when I thought humanity couldn’t reach new lows…

Who the hell plays these games and actually enjoys them? I won’t post the screenshots, but if you click on the links below this paragraph you can see some (slightly disturbing but safe for work) images of the game. It makes me sick to think that someone could spend time raping pixelated women. It truly boggles the mind. I wrote a post about sexism in video games a month ago, but this game takes the cake in terms of sexual violence against women in popular culture and entertainment. That particular concept is the hardest for me to reconcile – the fact that rape is not only commodified in this situation but it is presented as a form of entertainment & cheap thrills.

Here are some excellent articles on Rapelay & eroge:

Slate: And You Thought Grand Theft Auto Was Bad
The Telegraph: Rapelay virtual rape game banned by Amazon
Shakesville: Looking for Rape Products? Try Amazon
Jezebel: Overstock.com, eBay Remove Rape Simulation Game

Thoughts? Rants? Comment below.

I think I can trace my feminism back to my mother and father, both staunch conservatives while I was growing up. My father was in the military and my mother was very open to being dominated; she would do what ever he wanted, almost without question. Even at eight years old, something about that didn’t seem right. I felt bad for my mom, like she was getting a raw deal. I don’t want to give off the impression that my father was abusive or that he demanded that sort of treatment, but it just seemed to be how it was. At one point, my dad went overseas for a year and my mom took a nose-dive right to the couch, barely moving from her comfort zone. Without my father around she didn’t know what to do; it was during that year that I came to the conclusion, without a doubt, that things shouldn’t be that way. No one person, man or woman, should be so dependent on another person that they cannot live their life without them. Now, I know that what happened to my mother was not simply a function of her devotion to my father, but also as a part of a series of mental conditions she later became diagnosed with, but the impression was still there. Some things never leave you.

My family wasn’t the only formative element in my development, throughout the years, I became friends with many different women. I don’t mean that I made female friends in an effort to have sex with them, although I am ashamed to admit that was something I did in my younger years. But no one is perfect. As I formed these friendships I began to notice the kind of things that other men my age were doing and saying about the women I knew and didn’t know. Women to most of them were nothing more than objects of desire, things to be had and used until they were done with them. Had they taken the time to get to know the girls that they were talking about, they could have realized how much more they had to offer than “ass, titties, and blow jobs.” I began to hear stories from more of my friends than I ever thought possible. These were about guys who would force themselves into a position in which my friends felt that they had to sleep with them. It was rape through emotional force as far as I saw, and it made me sick. I can’t tell you how many girls I knew that would go out on dates with young soldiers–fresh out of basic, full of testosterone, and a sense of entitlement–who would come back and cry to me about being raped. They were all too scared to say anything, because on post (like everywhere) it was always assumed that she had been willing to have sex or she wouldn’t have been in the guys barracks. If she was lucky, the guy would be charged with statutory rape and maybe get kicked out of the Army. At least half of the women I have dated throughout the years have confided in me that their fathers, uncles, brothers, or neighbors had molested them. One in particular had been molested at (roughly) six years old; she still has nightmares to this day about those terrible events. I am thankful everyday that the woman I love more than I have ever loved has never had to deal with that. I hope to someday leave a world where no one else will. Some things never leave you.

In high school I discovered radical politics. At some point most people toy with ideas like socialism and anarchism, or their polar opposites (although I’ve never known anyone to seriously espouse the virtues of fascism.) I read about populist movements, workers rights, and class warfare. I read Noam Chomsky, Rigoberta Menchu, Karl Marx, and Emma Goldman. I came to the conclusion early on that equality and egalitarianism meant everyone and not only a certain type of people. I have marched in LGBT rallies, seen inflammatory political speeches given by some of the most intelligent people I have ever met, and I have sat through class after class designed to teach me the importance of history (all of which were led by women who I could never imagine being superior to simply because they had a vagina). My studies of history have shown me how far we’ve come and how much more work we as a society need to do. Women are still underrepresented in our history books. They were rich and vibrant characters, not just fashion accessories.

I am not the best candidate for becoming a feminist, but here I am. I grew up in a Southern, conservative, military family and spent much of my time in southern conservative, military towns. I am American, white, and male, which makes me part of the most privileged group of people to ever walk this earth, but here I am. I have learned lessons that most men will never learn, because some things will never leave you.