It is interesting to me that our society cannot accept the notion that women are capable of violence and cruelty equal to that of some men. Certain kinds of violence are associated primarily with women (like hitting, pinching, biting, scratching, and so on), whereas other forms of violence are often associated with men (such as punching, head-slamming, kicking, and rape). Rape in particular is usually defined as a sexual crime committed by a man on a woman or man, but women are rarely found to be sexual aggressors. Yet, just because it is rare doesn’t make it impossible.

When a woman kills we cannot begin to fathom her motives. We are uncomfortable with the very idea of a mother harming a child, let alone sexually assaulting that child. Yet at the same time, we hear of fathers sexually abusing children all too commonly. At what point do we abandon our preconceived notions of gender and behavior? Do statistics on violent crimes and who commits them prove that there is an essential difference between men and women? Or do we just chalk it up to the fact that some people (no matter their gender) are just majorly fucked up?

Female violence is all too often eroticized for male pleasure (“catfights” and bikini mud-wrestling, anyone?), yet woe be the woman who raises a hand against a man. Female violence, in reality, is often thought to provoke male violence (in other words, male violence is justifiable if a woman hits first; it is appropriate to retaliate). For example, many rumors circulating around the Chris Brown/Rihanna domestic abuse case perpetuated the idea that Rihanna provoked her beating by hitting or slapping Chris Brown. This brings up some important questions:

1) Is there ever a situation in which violence is acceptable and/or justifiable?
2) Is there any instance in which male violence towards females is justified? What about female violence directed toward a male? Male to male? And so on.

Ideally, in the Chris Brown/Rihanna case, one or both parties would have walked away before the situation escalated. However, I think it is important to note that Chris Brown was in the car’s driver’s seat and therefore had more power to stop the situation and/or allow Rihanna to leave peacefully. Whether Rihanna started the physical fight or not, I do not think he was right to retaliate with more violence. Not only is Chris Brown stronger than Rihanna, but his punches definitely did more damage than any alleged hitting or slapping (which we can see from the gruesome pictures spread on the internet in the recent months). Of course, I am not advocating female violence against men either. Unfortunately, there seem to be countless grey areas when it comes to domestic violence and other violent situations.

What are your thoughts on violence (either towards women or perpetrated by women?) Do you have an answer to any of the questions I posed above? I’d love to hear your thoughts, as this is a complicated topic with perhaps no right answer.

Recently, pictures of Rihanna after being abused by Chris Brown have been circulated on the internet. My heart goes out to Rihanna, because not only is this a violation of her privacy, but people from all walks of life are judging her life and her decisions. However, what is even more shocking (yes, it gets worse) are the comments on the blogs that have posted the picture of Rihanna’s bruises. Here is a sampling of the comments I’ve seen on several gossip blogs.

(The following comments were originally posted here).

“LOl never thought she was hot anyways now she looks like a monster, I’m pretty sure no one would have known if it wasn’t someoneelse who called the police. she would have kept it a secret” – Sora

“well done son, gave her a propoer ass whoopin, silly girl deserved it…..i love chris brown forever!! blup blup blup !” – woman basher 4 life

“i think that this pic looks far worse than it realli was. i mean whose 2 sey that chris brown actually did all this 2 her. females lie jus like niggaz. & if she’s as grimy as i heard, then this isnt probably all chris’s work! & yess im standin up 4 chris becuz im a loyal fan & neither one of us know the real story. so everyone needs 2 chill cuz we dont know FACTSS!!” – quiauna

“bwahahaha…SHE DESERVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!” – Jerry & Joes

“Holla at cha boy Chris… he let a HO KNOW! Slapped her so hard it sent her brain back to Trinidad!
No one is above an ass whooping! Anyone acts up they will get BEAT DOWN!
Holla!” – KimchiGUN

“Chris Brown is a SISSY…
If I was 6 foot and 160lbs of lean muscle, I would have broke a bitches nose!” – KimchiGUN (again)

There are hundreds more comments like this on that blog and others. There were some supportive comments (like this one: “I don’t like looking at this picture…It’s quite exploitative. Rihanna’s emotional and physical bruises are a private matter. I realize there’s no way to prevent media coverage on this, but I do think there should be limits as to how far it delves into very personal situations. Does anyone else agree with me on this?” – Lauren Davis) but overall, I find the misogyny in these comments appalling! This kind of attitude towards domestic violence is troubling; it is a serious issue that should not be taken lightly. I don’t really have words to express how I feel about this, just a mixture of anger, sadness, and disgust.

I would like to direct you all to some informative posts by Alaskan political blogger, Mudflats:

What is McCain Thinking? One Alaskan’s Perspective

Local Reaction to the Palin Bombshell

Sarah Palin? McCain’s Next Tropy Girl

I am completely confused and shocked by John McCain’s choice. He seems to think Palin will attract the women’s vote. However, as Mudflats puts it, “McCain obviously is looking for the Hillary vote since apparently he thinks women need no other criteria than a set of ovaries to mark their ballot, right? I mean women don’t actually make policy decisions, do they?”