A recent case has been covered by the views in which a woman is accused of raping and murdering a female child. While this is no doubt a tragic case, it is also the source of much controversy. Many people are in disbelief that a woman – and a mother, no less – could brutalize a child in such a way. Many claim she must have had a male accomplice (despite strong evidence to the contrary).
It is interesting to me that our society cannot accept the notion that women are capable of violence and cruelty equal to that of some men. Certain kinds of violence are associated primarily with women (like hitting, pinching, biting, scratching, and so on), whereas other forms of violence are often associated with men (such as punching, head-slamming, kicking, and rape). Rape in particular is usually defined as a sexual crime committed by a man on a woman or man, but women are rarely found to be sexual aggressors. Yet, just because it is rare doesn’t make it impossible.
When a woman kills we cannot begin to fathom her motives. We are uncomfortable with the very idea of a mother harming a child, let alone sexually assaulting that child. Yet at the same time, we hear of fathers sexually abusing children all too commonly. At what point do we abandon our preconceived notions of gender and behavior? Do statistics on violent crimes and who commits them prove that there is an essential difference between men and women? Or do we just chalk it up to the fact that some people (no matter their gender) are just majorly fucked up?
Female violence is all too often eroticized for male pleasure (”catfights” and bikini mud-wrestling, anyone?), yet woe be the woman who raises a hand against a man. Female violence, in reality, is often thought to provoke male violence (in other words, male violence is justifiable if a woman hits first; it is appropriate to retaliate). For example, many rumors circulating around the Chris Brown/Rihanna domestic abuse case perpetuated the idea that Rihanna provoked her beating by hitting or slapping Chris Brown. This brings up some important questions:
1) Is there ever a situation in which violence is acceptable and/or justifiable?
2) Is there any instance in which male violence towards females is justified? What about female violence directed toward a male? Male to male? And so on.
Ideally, in the Chris Brown/Rihanna case, one or both parties would have walked away before the situation escalated. However, I think it is important to note that Chris Brown was in the car’s driver’s seat and therefore had more power to stop the situation and/or allow Rihanna to leave peacefully. Whether Rihanna started the physical fight or not, I do not think he was right to retaliate with more violence. Not only is Chris Brown stronger than Rihanna, but his punches definitely did more damage than any alleged hitting or slapping (which we can see from the gruesome pictures spread on the internet in the recent months). Of course, I am not advocating female violence against men either. Unfortunately, there seem to be countless grey areas when it comes to domestic violence and other violent situations.
What are your thoughts on violence (either towards women or perpetrated by women?) Do you have an answer to any of the questions I posed above? I’d love to hear your thoughts, as this is a complicated topic with perhaps no right answer.
- Dollface
P.S. I highly recommend “A Question of Silence” by Dutch filmmaker Marleen Gorris. It is a provocative film about three women who kill a male shopkeeper for no apparent reason. It centers around the female psychologist who begins to empathize with the women. Raises so many interesting questions about women and violence, patriarchy, the sisterhood of women, and subverting the social order.
Addendum to the Comments Policy
12 08 2008Allllll right ladies and gentlemen….
So, here at therottenlittlegirls.com we have received our first negative poster! Since we do focus on somewhat controversial issues, this is a moment of pride for us. So, go on and read and feel free to express your opinions.
BUT be sure to read the comments policy first!
Here is a letter I sent to explain why a certain poster has been disallowed from further commentary:
i simply blocked you because you were incessantly commenting after you had already made your point. enough is enough. we are not angry in spite of what you may believe. we do disagree, and like we said – you have every right to your opinion. it’s not wrong. your comments are still up.
but it is our site. moderation does exist for a reason, and you are right – we are “controlling” our own blog to a certain extent. as much as i dislike censorship, i feel you are abusing the opportunity to comment. you have expressed your opinion multiple times, we have responded, so i think it is time to end the middle school merry go round of discussion.
like i said, we do not have hard feelings. we simply believe that you have expressed your opinion adequately (as have we) and therefore no more comments are necessary. we would like to hear from other readers who may feel insecure about commenting because of your consistent attitude. with the number of comments you keep leaving, we feel harassed. since you refuse to embrace the opportunity to stop commenting yourself, we are taking it into our own hands.
thank you, and good luck with your blog.
- Harlequin
Now this commentary is looking a little ridiculous to me. I am tempted to delete it, but as Dollface and I emphasize in our comments policy, we don’t like to stifle free speech. We love the comments we get for the most part, even ones that we disagree with. Engaging in debates is part of the fun of all this. No one’s opinion is wrong, but it’s not okay to come on here and behave in a rude and condescending manner. We are not here to get into personal arguments about lifestyle choices. When someone feels personally attacked, it’s time to stop. Express your opinion, and leave it at that.
This poster has continued to comment on our site in spite of being asked to stop. He has spammed our site, linked to us on places like reddit.com under the title “Feminists Bashing Men”, and even linked us to nude photos on the internet. Such behavior is not welcome here. He has referred to us explicitly as “controlling” and “abusive” when in fact we just feel harassed by none other than this poster himself. We believe that the dignity of our blog is being sacrificed through his repetitive harassing comments, and therefore we are “controlling” the comments from him (which angered him more than a bit I might add – I guess he is used to having his way all the time).
Having said that, he has voiced his opinion (and of course feel free to read more of this on his blog) and we appreciate that. However, this circle of comments about a personal relationship that he is not even involved in needs to stop right now, along with the sweeping generalizations he is making about the male side of humanity. Monogamy or lack thereof is not a gender-specific issue.
Other comments are certainly welcome. Even controversial ones. We just ask that you keep it within the realm of reason. You know we love hearing your opinions!
-Harlequin
P.S. Does anyone else agree that while censorship sucks, moderation exists for a reason? We are all up for hearing different opinions (yes, even disagreement!) but we think that posters like manupmen should take the excessive continuation of their arguments to their own sites….instead of constantly posting on our dime!
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