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	<title>Rotten Little Girls &#187; College</title>
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		<title>A Letter of Protest</title>
		<link>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2009/01/27/a-letter-of-protest/</link>
		<comments>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2009/01/27/a-letter-of-protest/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Jan 2009 19:36:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kelly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Agency]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Critical thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Curriculum]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Disciplines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Exception]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Female-centric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Frameworks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gender Studies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Higher learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Liberal arts college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Man-dominated studies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Maternity Leave]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[men]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Professor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Queer Studies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Token]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[United States]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[University]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wage gap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women's issues]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Studies]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://therottenlittlegirls.com/?p=2303</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dear College, I recently heard from one of my Women&#8217;s Studies professors that you intend to change the title of the Women&#8217;s Studies major to &#8220;Gender &#38; Queer Studies.&#8221; I applaud your interest in gender and queer studies, but I would like to protest this title change. By changing the curriculum and title of the [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=therottenlittlegirls.com&amp;blog=4307968&amp;post=2303&amp;subd=therottenlittlegirls&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font size="2" face="courier new">Dear College,</p>
<p>I recently heard from one of my Women&#8217;s Studies professors that you intend to change the title of the Women&#8217;s Studies major to &#8220;Gender &amp; Queer Studies.&#8221; I applaud your interest in gender and queer studies, but I would like to protest this title change.</p>
<p>By changing the curriculum and title of the Women&#8217;s Studies major, you are taking away the one &#8220;female-centric&#8221; area of study at our college. While many other disciplines address women&#8217;s issues and history, they do so in a cursory manner, often treating women as subjects without agency. The few women discussed are &#8220;tokens&#8221; and &#8220;exceptions&#8221; rather than the rule (and might I add that women of color are mentioned even less).</p>
<p>Some might say that there is less of a need for feminist courses as women in the United States gain more agency, independence and equal rights. However, when one considers that there are still discriminatory practices in the workplace, a substantial wage gap between the sexes, and a lack of paid and comprehensive maternity leave – not to mention the many other issues women face globally – it is glaringly apparent that equality has not been achieved.  The critical examination of the political and social institutions that make up our society is one of the primary aims of a liberal arts college. In like manner, the Women&#8217;s Studies major re-evaluates old frameworks, brings to light new histories, and encourages an atmosphere of rigorous study.  As an area of study, it is both meaningful and relevant.</p>
<p>Another concern I have about eliminating Women&#8217;s Studies as a major is the fact that it creates an environment in which male studies could potentially re-gain dominance. In queer studies, for example, classes might place more emphasis on the white male homosexual experience rather than that of lesbians or gay people of color. To avoid this, I believe that it is important to keep at least one major in which women are the focus of study.</p>
<p>My proposal, therefore, is that a Gender &amp; Queer Studies major could be created as a separate entity. If there are overlapping courses and topics, then these could be listed under both majors. It is important to remember that Women&#8217;s Studies courses are not about <em>gender</em>, but rather about <em>women</em>. While some Women&#8217;s Studies courses naturally address gender roles, there are also classes about the history of women, the concerns of women in the workplace, and female writers and artists. These are <em>gender-specific</em> studies, not gender studies.</p>
<p>Until all studies are women&#8217;s studies, I do not support this change in title and curriculum.</p>
<p>Respectfully,<br />
Dollface</font></p>
<p><font size="2">&#8212;-</p>
<p>Now here&#8217;s the million dollar question: if I were to actually send this in, would it change anything?  According to my professor, this title change is deeply debated by the faculty members involved in Women&#8217;s Studies, with half supporting the change and the other half protesting it.  What are your thoughts?  Does/did your campus have a Women&#8217;s Studies major &amp; if so, would you fight the administration over this kind of issue?</font></p>
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		<slash:comments>9</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">Dollface</media:title>
		</media:content>
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		<title>New Year&#8217;s Resolutions</title>
		<link>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2008/12/31/new-years-resolutions/</link>
		<comments>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2008/12/31/new-years-resolutions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2008 14:52:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kelly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[2009]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Activism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blog posts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Grades]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New Year's Resolutions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Story of Stuff]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Work out]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Yoga]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://therottenlittlegirls.com/?p=2161</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It’s the last day of the year! It’s been an interesting year: Barack Obama was elected, John McCain &#38; Sarah Palin – “you betcha!” – were soundly rejected by the American people, and I started this blog just about five months ago. All goods things, yes? Either way, whether you had a great year or [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=therottenlittlegirls.com&amp;blog=4307968&amp;post=2161&amp;subd=therottenlittlegirls&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/new-years-eve.jpg?w=500" alt="new-years-eve" title="new-years-eve"   class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2162" /></p>
<p><font size="2">It’s the last day of the year!  It’s been an interesting year: Barack Obama was elected, John McCain &amp; Sarah Palin – “you betcha!” – were soundly rejected by the American people, and I started this blog just about five months ago.  All goods things, yes? Either way, whether you had a great year or a bad one, its time to make some New Year’s resolutions.</p>
<p>My resolutions are:</p>
<p><strong>- Update the blog more often:</strong> I try very hard to get roughly 3 posts out a week, but that’s not enough!  School does get in the way, but I will try my hardest to get more content out more regularly (without sacrificing quality, I hope!)</p>
<p><strong>- Work out regularly:</strong>  I’d like to be more active and healthy…plus, I miss doing yoga!</p>
<p><strong>- Maintain good grades:</strong> Grades don’t matter too much in the bigger scheme of things, but I enjoy learning &amp; doing well in college.</p>
<p><strong>- Become more involved in activism:</strong> I just watched the <a href="http://thestoryofstuff.com">Story of Stuff</a> and it has really riled me up.  I want to do something about the state of our environment &amp; the corruption of corporations and consumerism.  This blog is a start but I’d like to do something in person as well.  Any thoughts?</p>
<p>So, those are my goals for 2009!  What are your New Year’s resolutions?  Did you accomplish last year’s?</p>
<p>Have a great New Year’s Eve.  See you all next year.</p>
<p>Cheers,<br />
Dollface</font></p>
<p>Photo <a href="http://lastheplace.com/images/article-images/1NEW2007WRITERS/1Karleigh/New-Years-Eve.jpg">Credits</a></p>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
	
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			<media:title type="html">Dollface</media:title>
		</media:content>

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			<media:title type="html">new-years-eve</media:title>
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		<title>Blog Action Day: Poverty and Education in America</title>
		<link>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2008/10/15/blog-action-day-poverty-and-education-in-america/</link>
		<comments>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2008/10/15/blog-action-day-poverty-and-education-in-america/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:08:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Kelly</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA["Keeping up with the Jones'"]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Affluent neighborhoods]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American Dream]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American school system]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Associate's Degree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bachelor's Degree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Blog Action Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Budgets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College applications]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College Board]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College debt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College degree versus high school degree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College Grants and Scholarships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College loans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Community college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Elementary school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Extracurricular activities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Financial aid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funding for schools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Funding public schools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gap in earning potential]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Graduate earnings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guidance counselors]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Haves and have nots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[high school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Junior college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kaplan prep course]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lower class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lower income neighborhoods]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lower middle class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Middle class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Middle school]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Music and Arts programs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Poor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Poverty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Price of college]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Private schools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Public schools]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[SAT prep]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[School vouchers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Self-fulfilling prophecy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Shrinking middle class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Students]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Taxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Teachers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Upper class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Upper middle class]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wage disparity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://therottenlittlegirls.wordpress.com/?p=1541</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[We’ve all seen the statistics: Those with a college degree earn significantly more annually than their counterparts who only graduated from high school (or didn’t graduate at all). According to a 2007 College Board study, “people with a bachelor&#8217;s degree earn over 60 percent more than those with only a high school diploma . . [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=therottenlittlegirls.com&amp;blog=4307968&amp;post=1541&amp;subd=therottenlittlegirls&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font size="2">We’ve all seen the <a href="http://www.earnmydegree.com/online-education/learning-center/education-value.html">statistics</a>:  Those with a college degree earn significantly more annually than their counterparts who only graduated from high school (or didn’t graduate at all).  According to a 2007 <a href="http://www.collegeboard.com/student/pay/add-it-up/4494.html">College Board study</a>, “people with a bachelor&#8217;s degree earn over 60 percent more than those with only a high school diploma . . . Over a lifetime, the gap in earning potential between a high school diploma and a B.A. is more than $800,000.”</p>
<p>If you notice, there is even a significant disparity between a bachelor’s degree (4 years of college) and an associate’s degree (2 years of college, usually at a community or junior college).  These statistics have an obvious conclusion: it’s good to have a college education because you can make more money (and the chances of enjoying your career are higher).  <strong>However, with the cost of college sky-rocketing with each passing year and the requirements to get into premier colleges becoming more stringent, there is an obvious inequality between who can go to college and who can’t.</strong></p>
<p>Our country is increasingly divided into the “haves” and the “have nots”.  On the one hand you have the upper middle class and upper class and on the other hand you have the lower middle class and lower class.  The shrinking middle class, in my mind, can go either way, depending on where they live in America and what opportunities are afforded them.  The “haves” are able to send their children to private schools or live in affluent neighborhoods with good school systems.  They can pay for SAT prep and after-school tutors.  They can bring their children to soccer or violin practice (and afford the uniforms, sports equipments, and musical instruments that come with these activities).  The “have nots” have less choices.  They live in whichever neighborhood they can afford, where the local public school may not get a lot of funding.  They work at least one full-time job (sometimes two) and therefore don’t have the time to pick their kids up from school, take them to extracurricular activities, or even just be at home to help them with their homework.</p>
<p><a href="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/325543school-children-looking-out-school-bus-windows-posters.jpg"><img src="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/325543school-children-looking-out-school-bus-windows-posters.jpg?w=500" alt="" title="school-children-looking-out-school-bus-windows"   class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-1547" /></a></p>
<p>Just getting through elementary and middle school can be a challenge for children from lower income families.  They are faced with obstacles that more-affluent families are not.  Since I come from one of those lower income families, I have first hand experience with some of these obstacles: schools running out of paper by November, staying at the free after-school program at the local library until my mother came home at dinner time, apathetic teachers who weren’t motivated to teach a bunch of “unruly” children.  Of course, these are merely examples, and they aren’t necessarily the experience everyone has had.  However, I know that systematically the quality of education children receive in lower income neighborhoods is severely lacking compared to the wealthy neighborhoods.  Where I grew up, we were lucky to have some Apple computers donated to our elementary school by the local bank, yet in a wealthy suburb several miles away, the children had plasma screen TVs in their state of the art gymnasium.</p>
<p><a href="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/p2000a420g50011.jpg"><img src="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/p2000a420g50011.jpg?w=500" alt="" title="studentswriting" class="alignright size-full wp-image-1556" /></a><strong>Now, I could go into the excesses of consumerism (what do you really need TVs in a school gym for??), but it’s less about what the wealthy schools <em>have</em> but what the poor schools <em>don’t have</em>.</strong>  They need basic school supplies (like paper, pens, chalk), they need better, newer textbooks, and they need desks that aren’t falling apart.  They need vibrant, engaging teachers and arts and music programs for their students.</p>
<p>In my high school economics class, we discussed some solutions to this problem.  It’s been a few years, but I remember discussing a voucher system.  This idea basically entailed giving poor families “vouchers” to go to a better school in a different neighborhood (where I grew up, school systems are divided into districts and you don’t get  a lot of choice in where you send your children).  However, this idea seemed ludicrous to me even in high school.  Obviously all parents would want to send their kids to the better-funded schools.  However, those schools can’t take more children than their facilities allow.  This would just mean that the schools in poorer neighborhoods would be overlooked even more!  To me, the obvious solution is to pour more funding into public schools that need it.  However, in a city, this is more of a problem than in a wealthy suburb, since there is only so much revenue and lots of issues that need attention.  Unfortunately, on both the state and national level, education often takes second fiddle to more “important” issues such as taxes and gas prices.</p>
<p>So what does this have to do with the wage disparity between college graduates and high school graduates?  Well, if I have painted a grim picture of elementary and middle schools, the state of many of our public high schools is worse.  High school should prepare students for college, yet many students fall through the cracks.  Their over-worked and under-paid teachers don’t have the patience or time to single out promising teenagers who probably could use some guidance.  Also, students attending under-funded schools are aware that they aren’t getting the same education as others.  They see that people are not expecting much from them, so they don’t rise to the challenge.  <strong>There is, in a sense, a self-fulfilling prophecy in the minds of lower income students – society doesn’t care about their quality of education, so why should they?</strong></p>
<div id="attachment_1550" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 410px"><a href="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/dro0738l1.jpg"><img src="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/10/dro0738l1.jpg?w=500" alt="A common stereotype of public school students" title="dro0738l1"   class="size-full wp-image-1550" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">A common stereotype of public school students</p></div>
<p>In our society, many students are not prepared for college, nor do they have the tools to even apply.  Some of my friends in high school did not have any help from their parents in filling out applications and the guidance counselors were too overwhelmed to be of much help.  While my parents had attended college and knew how the system worked, I recall several fellow students’ parents had never attended college and couldn’t even pay for more than 1 or 2 applications (at around $65 a pop, the average lower income family can’t afford for their child to apply to over 2 colleges).  Even the process of applying for college is an obstacle for lower income students – let alone the fact that they are competing for limited slots with their wealthy counterparts who have had an above-average education, good SATs scores (thanks to those Kaplan prep courses), play several instruments and have the luxury of volunteering during their summer months rather than working a minimum wage job.</p>
<p><strong>However, even if a student can overcome these obstacles, they still face one more daunting task: paying for college.</strong>  Many private colleges cost upwards of $30,000-40,000 a year, and state schools are, on average, $6,000-10,000 annually (I got this from College Board and don&#8217;t know how scientific these figures are).  However, I do know that a ridiculous amount of colleges charge ridiculous fees.  I’m fortunate that I got into a respected college that has a large enough endowment to offer me a substantial grant.  Even with that financial aid, I’m still taking out thousands of dollars in loans.  I, like many other middle class and lower income students, will be paying off debt for many years to come.  The only comfort I get is the knowledge that I’ll (hopefully) be making more money in the long run.  I’m not gonna lie, when my friend at college mentioned his dad wrote the school a $30,000 dollar check to pay his tuition, I was speechless.  That’s a whole way of life I’ve never encountered before, and to be sure, it’s enviable.</p>
<p>I am not, however, advocating keeping up with the Jones’.  I think all public schools should be brought up to a higher standard, but I don’t think we should be buying plasma TV’s for our gymnasiums.  Rather, we should be focusing on allocating funds in the right ways.  Education is important.  While it would be nice if my mom could hand me a check for $30,000, I’m not complaining – I’m just grateful I’m in college and able to enjoy my classes without worrying about whether I can pay for my next meal.  <strong>If we can improve our public schools, we will be giving our country’s children more of an opportunity to attend college and improve their place in society.  Isn’t that the American dream, after all?</strong></font></p>
<p> <br />
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<p><a href="http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/PTGPOD/325543~School-Children-Looking-Out-School-Bus-Windows-Posters.jpg">Photo</a> <a href="http://books.nap.edu/books/0309064104/xhtml/images/p2000a420g5001.jpg">Credits</a> <a href="http://data.lambdalegal.org/images/campaigns/lwfc/cartoons/800/brown.jpg">Here</a></p>
<hr />This post is part of <a href="http://blogactionday.org/">Blog Action Day 08 &#8211; Poverty</a></p>
<p><a href="http://blogactionday.org"><img border="0" src="http://blogactionday.org/img/f4e1c3c29c9f1f6c3882d7a7c4bebe6de19eb9c5.jpg" /></a></p>
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		<title>The Cheating Curve</title>
		<link>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2008/09/09/the-cheating-curve/</link>
		<comments>http://therottenlittlegirls.com/2008/09/09/the-cheating-curve/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:25:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Harlequin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[adultery]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[affairs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boyfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cheating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[College]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girlfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hook-ups]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mistress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Well I haven&#8217;t been around for awhile, since I have been moving into my new townhouse (with all of my friends, including Dollface) and getting used to classes.  So this has been my first week back at college&#8230;I am sorry for not being around, but there have been some interesting stories to tell &#8211; if [...]<img alt="" border="0" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=therottenlittlegirls.com&amp;blog=4307968&amp;post=980&amp;subd=therottenlittlegirls&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" width="1" height="1" />]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-size:small;">Well I haven&#8217;t been around for awhile, since I have been moving into my new townhouse (with all of my friends, including Dollface) and getting used to classes.  So this has been my first week back at college&#8230;I am sorry for not being around, but there have been some interesting stories to tell &#8211; if i could remember.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">But on another note, this has also been my younger brother&#8217;s first week at college &#8211; as a freshman.  We all moved him in last week and got him settled, and he seems to be happy.  But&#8230;he cheated on his girlfriend.  The kid&#8217;s first weekend at college, his first college party, and he cheats on the girl that he loves.  My friend told me it was not really his fault &#8211; he did love this girl but his hormones were too much for him to handle.  Perhaps that is partly true.  It&#8217;s an explanation, but it sure as hell isn&#8217;t an excuse.  So is monogamy even realistic, even when we outgrow our hormones?</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;"><a href="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/bizarre-medical-theories-kissing-allergies1.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-989" title="bizarre-medical-theories-kissing-allergies1" src="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/bizarre-medical-theories-kissing-allergies1.jpg?w=300&#038;h=199" alt="" width="300" height="199" /></a>Needless to say, I am disappointed in him.  But I understand &#8211; I cheated once, and it was more than just making out.  But my brother and his girlfriend are just so sickeningly perfect for each other.  Before this, my friends and I all fawned over what a great boyfriend he was, what a great couple they were.  And they are.  I can&#8217;t find a healthy relationship for the life of me, and he gets one on his first try.  In high school, nonetheless.  I suppose that is what disappoints me the most, that even the relationships that seem the best can fall apart so easily.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">I do not condone cheating, but I also do not condemn it.  I think the best we can do is try to understand what lies behind the face of cheating, <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/whypeoplecheat/tp/whycheat.htm">why</a> people do it.  Context can be everything, and although I only know of my own personal experiences, cheating seems to be <a href="http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/infidelity/p/infidelity_stat.htm">everywhere</a> today.  Even the most beautiful women in Hollywood are cheated on &#8211; Reese Witherspoon, Elizabeth Hurley, Sienna Miller.  I have been cheated on a lot, but when I was the cheater, I did it out of drunken vindictiveness.  He had been ignoring me for weeks and I decided that if he didn&#8217;t pick up his phone when I called him at 2 in the morning then I would have sex with an unnamed character.  Now, we broke up a week later; I realized he had pretty much already dumped me without immediately getting around to letting me know.  So I don&#8217;t feel too bad about that, although I do realize it was completely immature and wrong.  My second example is that of a friend who has been dating a man for 6 years, and everyone thought they were the perfect couple.  One night they had a party at their apartment, and a girl who had just broken up with the man&#8217;s best friend showed up, without an invitation.  As the night went on and people trickled in and out, my friend went to bed.  When she got up an hour later, she entered the living room to see her boyfriend, passed out and naked from the waist down, and the girl masturbating next to him.  Neither of them ever found out what really happened, and they are still together months later; in fact, they are having a baby next year.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">So we get to my brother.  He was at a party, drinking of course, and a girl pulls him around the corner for an exhibitionist make-out session.  He tells me that she pulls off his shirt, and then her own, and kisses him up against the wall.  He says he kissed her back.  And then he stopped, and said, &#8220;I can&#8217;t do this,&#8221; to which she responded that she didn&#8217;t care if he had a girlfriend.  He called up his girlfriend crying and told her what happened, and other than that I don&#8217;t know of any new developments.  <a href="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/article-affair-photo.jpg"><img class="alignleft size-med wp-image-985" title="article-affair-photo" src="http://therottenlittlegirls.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/article-affair-photo.jpg?w=300" alt="" width="300" /></a></span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">So what happens now &#8211; do you <a href="http://www.rd.com/living-healthy/15-steps-to-surviving-an-affair/article31594.html">try to heal</a>, or do you give your partner <a href="http://www.essortment.com/all/breakingupafte_tufi.htm">the boot</a>?  And where do we draw the line of what is cheating &#8211; sex with anyone, sex only with someone of the opposite sex, kissing, or simply feelings?   Obviously the answer to these questions will vary from person to person, but I do not know if I could continue a relationship with someone who cheated on me, emotionally or physically.  Forgiveness is a lot easier than I thought.  But forgetting isn&#8217;t something that can ever really happen; at best you can move past it and live with it.  I don&#8217;t know if you can ever rebuild that trust.  An infidelity (or God forbid, several) is always there, lingering, making you wonder.  I can forgive my ex-boyfriend for his adulterous ways, but I can never forget and I most certainly could never be with him again.  I wanted to try, and I did, but instead of fading with time, his infidelities just became more vivid.  I turned into a crazed, jealous, suspicious, paranoid wreck.  A lot of that is still with me &#8211; and I feel that any man who dates me now deserves a trophy just for dealing with it.  But I have learned a lot from cheating, both on the giving and the receiving end, and I am still astounded with the complexity of emotions that are involved.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:small;">So what are all of your experiences with cheating?  Have you ever been the victim or the culprit, or maybe both? </span></p>
<p><span style="font-size:x-small;"><a href="http://remedicated.com/2008/06/25/high-heels-cause-schizophrenia/">Photo</a> <a href="http://americanmoms.com/issue-affair.html">Credits</a> </span></p>
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