Surviving a Mosh Pit as a Female
I’m a big fan of rock music, the heavier the better. I have a fairly massive music collection on my computer but nothing beats going to live shows. I dig the ridiculously loud speakers, the vibrations of the bass and drums, and I even like being pressed up against dozens of sweaty, raucous people.
I also love to mosh. I’m not really sure I can explain it, but there’s something really fucking fun about flailing around, throwing yourself into people. If I’m feeling the music, I can’t help but move around. Did I mention I’m a 5’1”, 115 lb female? As much as I’m all about gender equality, my height and the vulnerability of my chest region makes moshing a risky endeavor. Some mosh pits are rather tame, but if you’ve been to some of the metal shows I have, you know that lots of guys throw elbows and get wicked rough. I don’t mind a little pain but an elbow to the boob is motherfucking painful. Not to mention there’s the (slight?) risk of molestation…I’ve never experienced this personally, but I’ve heard of this happening a lot with crowd surfing.
So should girls not mosh? Should we sit in the back like good little girls, all pretty and demure? Hell no! Here are my “survival” methods to moshing as a height-challenged female.
1. Stay on the outskirts. Yeah, it’s not ideal but you can generally jump around and shit here without actually being in the circle of doom. Just make sure you’re relatively close to the pit, otherwise all the fucking emo kids will get upset that you’re pushing them. They are only here to stand silently with constipated expressions – your hyperactivity detracts from their concert-going experience. If one of them does get in your face, ignore their bitching and continue stepping on their feet.
2. Wear smart shoe-wear. Docs or combat boots are preferable. People WILL step on your feet, and a steel-toed boot comes in handy when kicking someone’s ass. If you plan on wearing heels, make sure the venue has seating. One time I made the mistake of wearing my Chucks to a show. Some friggin asshole pushed my female friend really hard when we were nowhere near the pit. I’m a rather impulsive person (and I’d just spent an hour with my face pressed up against some guy’s massive sweaty gut) so I immediately counter with a swift kick to the leg…except I miss and get his balls. Oh shit. Did I mention this guy was visibly wasted, 7 feet tall (at least) and had arms the size of tree trunks? He turns around and looks down at me, yelling several epithets in the process. I’m a little concerned when he says “I’m gonna kick your ass.” Guess this guy doesn’t have a problem hitting women. As I’m awaiting my first broken nose, some wondrous angel from behind me says “Hey man, don’t hit little girls” and the guy backs off. At this point I feel like one of those yappy little dogs who bite the ankle of a pit-bull, thinking they are an even match. Not to mention my foot is throbbing because Converse are basically made of paper. Either way, I learned my lesson: Wear combat boots in case you want to kick burly men in the balls.
3. If you wear glasses, put on contacts. You don’t want to break those babies or worse, lose them and find their mangled carcass at the end of the night.
4. Bring a bunch of friends and create your own mini-pit wherever the fuck you want. I did this with some pals at a hippy-LSD-tripping kind of show. We got a lot of angry stares but it was a hella good time.
5. Mosh during the opening act but move out of there by the main act. Depending on the show, there is more violent moshing during the main act. However, when I went to see AFI, the moshing was way more intense (and fun) during Dillinger Escape Plan, who went on prior to AFI. Of course, I’m sure old school punk AFI shows would have been a different story…
6. Go to local shows as well as big concerts. Depending, again, on the venue, there may be different levels of moshing. It really depends; it’s best to see a variety of different shows and try your luck.
7. Wear simple clothing. Wife beater and jeans will do. As much as you may want to dress up in your steampunk finest, you’ll be sorry when someone steps on your velvet skirt and rips it, or your necklaces get caught on someone’s belt. Furthermore, there is a 50% chance that you will get beer, blood, or vomit on you at some point of the night. Just warning you.
Anyone have any good concert stories? Have any questions or tips? Comment below.
- Dollface
I think this may just be my favourite post that you’ve EVER written! I am a massive rock fan, and think that live concerts are undoubtedly one of the best things in life! These tips are fantastic and make it so much easier to have a good time – THANK-YOU! :D
Loved it loved it loved it!!!!! Brilliantly written. Made me want to mosh! For the duration of the piece, but still. Haha you’re so hardcore sis :p
I’m listening to the Oogie boogie man song. lol.
<3
@ Corrine — I’m so glad you liked it! I wasn’t sure if this post would go over that well since there’s more swearing than normal & it’s also an interest I haven’t discussed that much on the blog before. What was your favorite concert?
@ Hina — Thaaaank you. We can go to some shows when you get back to the States.
Awesome post! Docs ftw
Yessss! I’m a tiny tiny woman as well, but I love to get into the inner circle and get pushed around, mostly cause when you’re right in the middle you can throw elbows and because you’re so much smaller, dodge the incoming ones. At least that’s what I’ve found. My first concert I didn’t know what to expect so I wore flats and got broken glass crushed into my feet. Bad time. I’d definitely recommend, along with docs, to wear some jeans. They’ll protect a little against shin-bruises.
GREAT POST! These tips are all so true. I’m a small girl too and I’m always a little concerned about getting injured while moshing. Luckily for me, my brother is into the same music as I am so most of the heavier shows I go to, he comes too, and he always looks out for me. He’s 4 years younger than me but about twice my size, lol.
Who are you listening to lately? I remember a pretty rad show in Nashville once where there was a pretty intense fight because some dude was targeting girls in the pit. I think it was a Casey Jones show.
My friend used to date a guy in a heavy mental band and I would come to concerts and accidently get pulled into the mosh pitt. I didnt fair well.
I love this post. I’m a huge punk fan (pop punk, so mainly swinging fists and skanking) and I love seeing girls in the pit. Whenever I go to a show, there’s never more than one or two girls bold enough to get in the pit, if any. Pop punk shows are a bit different from hardcore shows, though. A Dillinger Escape Plan pit is gonna be a bit more violent than one at a Four Year Strong show. Girls shouldn’t be afraid to dive right into the pit. Something I think should be is that you should not expect an apology after getting hit. There is nothing more annoying than someone bitching after getting hit in the face when they were standing next to the pit. If you don’t want to get hit, get away from the pit or hold out a fist. Look around at a show, you know what I’m talking about.
Great tips. I’ve been fairly lucky in terms of not getting too hurt considering my size (around yours.) One of my favorite shows so far was a recent Sham 69 show. It was a mix of older fans who had been around when Sham first started and late teens and early 20s like me. I was able to go right in the middle of the pit and mosh and not worry because everyone was so great about waching who was around them. No elbows in my eye that night.
I haven’t been to too many huge concerts, but I find that smaller venues means that people are paying more attention. If someone goes down in apit, more people are likely to help as more people can see.
I think another great tip would be to be aware of what’s going on around you. At another show I had been up front and center in the pit, taking a couple breaks for water and was ok, sometimes following rule number 1. Unfortunately, I closed my eyes for a minute, ended up headbanging by nose into the guy in front of me, and had to go sit in the back while I stopped the resulting nosebleed.
great topic… I know the band Stuck Backwards from Virginia Beach, VA incorporates a part of their set to having an “All Girl Mosh Pit”… no dudes allowed. It’s brutal… I think even more aggressive than the guys!! This article made me think of them.. it’s pretty intense.
Nick — That’s freaking awesome!! I gotta check that band out…
i loved this :] i’m 4ft6, 90lbs and i love moshing as much as any guy. a lot of things you said are true! my first show was suicide silence and i was wearing vans and my feet were in so much pain. guys will either be really rude or really nice to girls in mosh pits. no matter who you are, most guys will pick you up if you’re prone to fall down (smaller people definitely are) because it’s part of mosh pit etiquette. haha thanks for this though!
Awesome post!! Just found your site tonight and was reading older posts. Just thought that I would add that these tips are great for ANY person; not just smaller folks.
I’m 6ft 2 inches tall and weigh 320lbs, and have been known to lift cars off of people all by myself… and I STILL follow exactly the same tips that you have listed.
I have done security at a ton of metal and hardcore shows, and there is no way you’d find me without smart shoe wear or with my glasses on. Sometimes even for a guy of my size it gets a bit too rough. Working a Hatebreed show a few years back myself and a few of the other guys got wrecked pretty bad breaking up some crap over a group of thugs pushing some ladies around.
Love the blog, I have added you to my list of blogs to follow; and with your permission will add you to my blog roll on the sidebar of my site.
woww, i love love LOVE your tips.
i’m 5’5” and 114 lbs. a little skinny for my height…and i get pushed around VERY EASILY. when it comes to moshing, i get CRAZY and can actually be in the pit but its much too hard for me to maintain my strength. thanks for your tips! i’ll make sure to remember them when i go see Korn and suicide silence this weekend! <33 thanks again :)
Great article.
I’m a guy, but not a big one (5’9″, 130-ish pounds), but can hold my own in a pit. I’ve definitely had my share of bruises, and given a few as well :P
I just wanted to say that I love it when girls aren’t afraid to get in the moshing action. It’s a lot of fun (as you say, inexplicably so), and to see them actually getting into it is great.
And really, mosh etiquette will keep you relatively safe anyways, no matter who you are. These tips really are great, and can be followed by anyone, and make the whole experience fun.
Again, love the article. And I’m SUPER jealous that you got to see D.E.P. live, I’ve heard their live shows are un-fucking-real. Ben Weinman going crazy must inspire the crowd :P
Keep on rockin.
Oh my god….
elbows to the tits do fucking hurt! xD
‘Specially when it rams the core.
Ah bitch.
> w <
It might also be mentioned that pits fair best when those in them look out for each other. If someone trips and falls you block the oncoming mass and pick them up. Order in chaos.
I really loved this post. My friend had invited me to a consert where moshing is big and i was concerned if i should join in. Ive watched several videos and what i have observed is that mostly older guys are in these pits. Since im a skinny girl i felt like i was going to break in half but after reading this you have inspired me to try it. So hopefully it will ge a good time.
I’m a girl and i love to mosh. But standing on the outskirts isn’t for me. Often i won’t see another girl in the mosh for the entire gig. The shows I go to no one has ever tried to cop a feel but i have been elbowed in the chest many times. I get treated differently and i tend to be taken care of (no one kicks me or pushes me and pulls me up first if i fall over). You’re post is great and encouraging a diverse mosh is awesome. Also i have been kicked out for moshing so maybe you could write a post on security (the shit venues and good venues).
:)
I’ve been to a few Bring Me The Horizon and Asking Alexandria concerts where moshing can get pretty rough, but lately I have been comepletely shocked at how kind people are when a mosh pit does erupt. When I was younger and was bearly getting in the whole ‘going to concerts every weekend’ phased I was so terrified of mosh pits that often I would make excuses for myself not to go to the concert. I’m 5’2 and I weigh 110 pounds, which is definatley not the body to have if you want to throw down with a bunch of other rowdy teenage boys. So when the day came that I finally came face to face with the pit, it was enough for me to want to never ever go back to another concert in my life. It all started when the band began to play their most upbeat song that was famous for starting crazy ‘elbow in your boob’ mosh pits. At first I wasn’t too concerned with the pit as it started off small but when a few guys in the row infront of me began pushing around I became really scared. Surely enough I was pushed into the pit and fell face first. With none of my friends in sight I remembered to quickly get up only to be pushed back down. I was getting punched and trampled on and I couldn’t get up. When all of a sudden I feel sweaty broad hands pulling me up and safely pulling me out of the pit. I finally realized that a stranger was kind enough to reach down and pull me out. I looked over to thank to cute stranger but my surprises weren’t finished for the night. He asked me to stay with him for the rest of the concert just in case. I agreed and told my friends where I was going to spend the rest of the night and proceeded to enjoying the concert. That night the kind stanger (whom’s name turned out to be Kyle) and I exchaned numbers and are now going to Warped Tour together. Who knew that the biggest fear of my life would bring something like this onto my life. These tips and comments are so encouraging I think i’m finally going to jump into the mosh pit. Now that I have a prtotector n’all. Keep up the great post and stories! :)
Really great post, I`m sure it`ll help me at the upcoming Korn concert :)
I just hope you don`t mind if I ask you a question : How old should a girl be to mosh?
Thanks ;)
triso — I don’t think there’s any age limit — if you’re old enough to be at the venue, I think that’s enough!
we’re bascially twins…i’m 5’2 and sometimes i’ll find myself at a show where i’m either the only girl in the pit or even the only girl at the show. it’s great to know i’m not the only one!
@darby — same!!!
Completely agree with all of these.
I encountered my first mosh pit a few weeks ago and thought I was prepared: I was wearing converse and glasses.
Luckily I stayed near the outer part for the more intense bands, and guys were really very nice about not elbowing me in the face. Getting smiles from guys who think you’re brave enough to run into a mosh is awesome. Even more awesome: Getting so into the music that every part of you just loses itself, and you get thrown full force into someone else. That’s why moshing is so freaking amazing.
Haii,
I am the exact same size as you and I’m going to my first “moshing” concert tomorrow. I’m a bit nervous but this post helped so much! I hope I don’t get to hurt tomorrow night!
Thanks a lot!