Girls Just Wanna…Get Approval From Men??
by Kelly
I’d like to share some of my blog stats with everyone.
Total hits: 43,113
Average hits per post: 200-400 hits (with a few outliers)
Top post: 5,901 hits (in 3 days)
That top post? Ian’s views on feminism that was published a few days ago. Now, I love any huge traffic coming my way because it gives the blog more exposure, so I’m not complaining. I also found Ian’s post to be inspirational and engaging, or else I never would have posted it. But, after reading the comments and listening to some long-time readers’ views I do notice that his post has received more positive comments and emails than mine generally have. In fact, in looking at comparable feminist sites with roughly the same readership, I rarely see the same outpouring of positivity from readers (and so few trolls).
So what’s the deal? Ian himself has told me he doesn’t want to overshadow my voice as a female feminist (another reason to praise the guy!) and I don’t regret showcasing a male feminist POV and hope to include similar views in the future on my blog. On one condition.
We’ve got to all take a step back and say…why is it so fabulous and rare that a man like Ian exists? Why is a man stating the same ideas that feminist writers have been expressing for generations a cause for celebration and awe? Shouldn’t that kind of enlightened thinking be the norm for men? I would hate to belittle Ian’s post in any way; it is because of the general attitude of society towards feminism that makes his post so unique and refreshing. Yet, let us not forget that it is not enough to pat one man on the back and say “Thank you for seeing our side and helping our cause” and then go back to our daily life, thinking there’s renewed hope for feminism. We need to support the women who are fighting for this cause as well.
Having a vagina doesn’t make you a feminist, and I can attest to the fact that you definitely don’t wake up over night and say “Aha! That’s why I’m pro-choice/anti-racist/etc.” Our beliefs are shaped by our experiences, our knowledge, and a continuing conversation with ourselves and others. Even though hard-hitting feminist posts may seem to come easily to some women, they are labors of passion and activism that are deserving of positive & generous attention.
So, in honor of all my lovely fellow (female) bloggers, I’m going to round up some feminist posts I’ve been enjoying lately. If you haven’t read or commented on these articles yet, it’d be great if you could send some love their way. A stumble would be nice, or a shout out on reddit. Let’s keep our blogging community strong. I’m not out to get thousands of hits, I just want to make a difference. I think that goes for most of these women too.
Blog for Choice 2009 (@ Evilslutopia)
Special Post – Inauguration Day (@ Ojibway Migisi Bineshii)
Michelle Obama: Mother or Career Woman? (@ Viva La Feminista)
Being “colour blind” is NOT a solution (@ Uppity Brown Woman)
Women & the Oscar Nominations (@ Women and Hollywood)
Proud to be… Fat? What Exactly Counts as “Fat?” (@ Dolly Speaks)
If You Were Forced to Lose Your Name… (@ Scales of Libra)
Fat Acceptance 101 (@ The Rotund)
Picture It. It’s 1973. You are a housewife. (@ The Happy Feminist)
The View Takes On Anne Coulter (@ Womanist Musings)
What if we loved fat girls as much as we love the “bowl full of jelly” Santa? (@ Professor, What If…?)
Ageism Is The Last Acceptable Form Of Discrimination (@ Mom Grind)
Stop Throwing Rocks at Goliath’s Feet: Hip Hop’s Inaugural Propaganda (@ What About Our Daughters)
Please share your thoughts and other feminist links!
Sincerely,
Dollface
Wow. Lots of great reading material here. Thanks. And thank you for including MomGrind.
Thanks for the shout-out and reading list! ^_^
As I’ve been wandering around on the blogosphere, I think the only thing that surprises me more than how much praise men get when they openly say they’re feminists is how many women feel the need to explicitly say they’re NOT feminists when tackling a topic that has the slightest chance of being perceived as such. I guess the image of “feminist = man-hating, bra burning psycho” is still firmly entrenched in many minds. But how did that image get in the minds of the younger people? Hm…
A toast to all who open their hearts and minds!
I really liked this.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2009-01-11/how-feminism-became-the-f-word
Dollface, have I ever told you how much I love you? lol
Seriously though, somebody must have linked to that article of mine above on stumbleupon because I’ve gotten like 400 hits on my blog today (which is about oh, 350 more than I usually get). I didn’t realize the comments section was closed until later (oh well, no trollz at least), but I was still grateful to have gotten so much exposure.
I like what sol has to say above too. There is a weirdness to the excitement over men being feminists but the fears women STILL have of being labelled or identifying as feminist. Are we all secretly harboring a love interest in feminism, but we’re waiting for the men to come out and say it first?
Angry Black Bitch did an interesting post for Blog for Choice Day: http://angryblackbitch.blogspot.com/2009/01/blog-for-choice-there-but-for-roe.html
One more, for all you Sarah Palin “lovers” ;)
http://elleabd.blogspot.com/2009/01/things-seen-13.html
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
@ veredd – No problem!
@scalesoflibra — I agree, there seem to be a lot of women (especially around our age) who seem afraid to be viewed as feminist. I was making a rather feminist statement to some friends the other day and one of them said “Wow, I didn’t know you were such…a lover of women…” (with a strange look on her face) I countered with, “Yeah, I’m a big huge feminist, didn’t you know?” Ahh well… :P
@ Ian — Great link, thanks for sharing it
@ Dolly – I’m so glad!! That rocks! Also, thanks for sharing the link
Great post!
“Having a vagina doesn’t make you a feminist” — this can never be repeated too often! Each semester students say/write things like “As a woman, of course I am a feminist…” (would that were true!). Just last week, someone cited Cosmo as feminist magazine because it’s a ‘woman’s magazine.’ Sorry, that is NOT the same thing, people!
As for your claim that “Even though hard-hitting feminist posts may seem to come easily to some women, they are labors of passion and activism that are deserving of positive & generous attention” I say hurrah and yes, yes, yes! Feminist blogging is an important form of activism (and I would add that good writing hardly ever “comes easily” but involves lots of labor). Thanks for contributing to the wonderful world of feminist blogging! (And thanks for the link love.)
Thank you for posting this – I was thinking the same thing! I rarely comment, but you definitely deserve all kinds of shout outs for the constant, effective wave of information you keep rolling through this blog! I left comments on a healthy handful of the links you posted as well – let’s keep up the dialogue, fellow feminists!!
I stumbled Ian’s article and that was the first time I’d been to your blog. As you said, there is a culture of rewarding men for saying they’re decent human beings. Man: “Rape is wrong! Women must be treated with respect!” – cookie and a pat on the head. Woman: “Rape is wrong! Women must be treated with respect!” – well DUH. I think women are more under-cover Feminists than men are as well because of the negative connotation with the word. Whereas if a man said he was a Feminist he wouldn’t necessarily be associated with bra-burning and man-hating. Plus male Feminists are still a rare, mythical creature :P
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-girl-talk-damnit-i-need-a-man/
This really bothered me.
@ Professor — Thanks for your wonderful comment :) And no problem, your blog is great.
@ Kim — I’m glad you liked the post! Thanks for commenting on this site and the other blogs :)
@ E.M. Russell — Too true. Men can’t exactly burn their bras…but maybe they could burn their jock straps? Hmm…
@ Ian — At the end of that article she asks “Is this sexist? Has my feminist card been revoked?” If I were a member of “The Frisky” this is what I would say…
Whoever gave you a feminist card in the first place should be fired. Thanks for upholding gender stereotypes. P.S. If you don’t want to get a bad deal on a car, why not do a little research yourself. Oh wait, I forgot, we females can’t handle that kind of strenuous brain activity.
She may have needed someone taller than her, someone more mechanically minded, or someone more technically minded than her, but needing a man is an absurd statement. The fact that was published under feminism bothered me.
Having a vagina doesn’t make you a feminist,
Word. See exhibit A: Sarah Palin, after which we will continue on to exhibit B: Ann Coulter.
Haha, Roxanne, awesome. So true…