Rotten Review: One Perfect Day
Who can resist a picture of a lovely bride, immaculately and expensively dressed in creamy white silks and a sheer veil modestly covering her face? The entire wedding industry spends more time than you can imagine cultivating this very image. They want you to believe that weddings are not just traditional and celebratory occasions, but confections concocted of luxury and fairy-tales endings. It’s no secret that, as a culture, we buy this image hook, line, and sinker.
Rebecca Mead’s One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding is a thoughtful expose on the inner-workings of the wedding industry. She interviews brides-to-be, wedding planners, and workers in a Chinese wedding dress factory. Though Mead takes a clear-headed and critical approach to the wedding industry, she is neither condescending nor disrespectful. Instead, she takes a rather objective look at each level of the wedding industry – from the people selling the perfect day to the couples consuming it.
Personally I found her writing engaging and informative. Her chapter on the extravagant costs of weddings was particularly eye-opening. According to wedding industry estimations, the average couple spends nearly $28,000 on their wedding (and that’s not including the honeymoon). Granted this figure is put out by the American Wedding Study, which is run by Conde Nast, a magazine company who wants to ensure that they attract enough advertisers within their bridal magazines. Yet, I just have to repeat this: $28,000. That’s some people’s annual salary, blown on one day.
One of the central themes of Mead’s book is, “What is a wedding for, and is it worth all this money, time, and effort?” To be sure, after reading about the excesses of other modern brides and grooms, my stomach turns at the thought of shelling out thousands of dollars for a wedding cake shaped like a purse, or a dress I’ll only wear once. However, I can’t deny the pull that the wedding industry has over even me. The advertising campaigns of this industry are highly effective: a bride is a princess for a day, gathering her dearest friends and family around her to celebrate the hopeful romance of two individuals destined for a happy life. For that is the crucial product that the wedding industry must sell to us: the idea of a happy marriage. As Mead argues, if the wedding goes without a hitch, the marriage will too. At least, that’s what we’re supposed to believe.
So what is worth to us? Can you justify to yourself spending all that money on one day? Does the wedding make the marriage? Share your wedding stories, your hopes for the future, or your disdain for weddings in general.
This book has given me a lot of ideas for posts, so look for several wedding-related posts in the near future. I plan to tackle Bridezilla culture, consumer culture, and the commodification of romance (with particular attention to gay marriage, which, although frustratingly illegal in many states and countries, has become a recent target of the wedding industry).
- Dollface
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I go back and forth on whether or not I even buy into the idea of a marriage. Spending 30,000 on it? Fuckkkkkkkkk no. That’s a down payment on a house, a car and will pay a year of grad school.
@ lena — Same here. I like the romantic idea of being “tied” to a significant other, and I also think the economic aspect can be important when starting a family. However, while I would definitely want to celebrate my marriage in some manner, I’m not so sure about an expensive wedding. My own parents got married in a courthouse. While that’s not terribly romantic, it was realistic and saved them a ton of money.
My ideal would be a DIY wedding….handmade invitations and decorations all the way. Also, if I get married, I’d like to wear my mom’s wedding gown…and if I don’t fit into that (hahaha…..) why not get a fun big dress at a second hand store and embellishing or getting it tailored?
Is there really a need to spend more than 1000 bucks? I think not!
$28,000!?!?! That’s the average? Holy shit… I could buy a Wii, pay for my trip to China, pay for all my remaining college costs actually, make some insurance payments on my car, get nice gifts for everyone at Christmas this year… hell, I could do a lot with that money and make it last years!
Frankly, after witnessing my parents’ marriage, I don’t ever really want to be “united” with someone like that. Sure, I’d like to feel “true love” or whatever you call it, but at this point in my life I’m skeptical if even that will ever happen. I’m starting not to believe in the permanence of relationships, and I’m such an introverted person that I need tons of space. So, if I were in a long-term relationships with somebody, we’d probably have to have separate apartments or something.
But, anyways, I’m glad you reviewed this book. I actually checked it out from my library over the summer, but I never got a chance to read it. Now, I’m more inclined to check it out again. Hooray for another addition to the reading list! :D
@ Cousin — DIY all the way! That’s actually a really good idea. You’ll have to help me out with that someday, since you’re way more crafty :-). I actually really love the idea of getting a second-hand dress..but of course I’m addicted to thrift stores.
@ Dollyann — I wish I had 28K right now…but it’s really sad that that’s the average (and the book explains that this goes way up depending on the neighborhood…so there are 100K weddings out there, etc).
That’s awesome that you checked this book out. I really recommend it, it was actually perversely fun reading about other people’s outrageous weddings.
P.S. I’m sure you’ll find some equally introverted writer type someday and you can live in apartments next door to each other, writing the next great novel or something. Just make sure the wedding doesn’t bankrupt you! ;-)
“commodification of romance”– love it!