As a young woman, I struggle to find confidence in myself. I constantly feel like I am on display, and in a way, I am. The barrage of sexual imagery and the shallowness of pop culture often makes me view myself with disdain, and it is a struggle for any woman to overcome insecurities that are simply heightened by everything around her. So here is a list of things that I focus on in order to boost my self-confidence, and so far, they seem to be working!
10. Always present yourself in a way that makes you proud – whether this be something as simple as putting on mascara every day before you go out, or something more complicated like standing up for someone when you feel they are being mistreated. If you are happy with your appearance and you live your life according to your values, you will most definitely be happy with yourself.
9. Treat yourself – buy some new clothes, go get a massage, get your nails done. It isn’t shallow to be pampered every once in awhile, especially if you are paying for it yourself. A good rule of thumb is to treat yourself as if you were a good friend or a girlfriend; don’t become too self-indulgent, but realize that you know best what makes you feel great on the inside and out.
8. Walk around in your bra and underwear – it feels a bit strange at first, but after awhile you start feeling not only comfortable in your own skin, but also pretty damn sexy! I was so ashamed of my body during my teenage years that I went through high school in baggy pajama pants; needless to say, I never felt remotely attractive. But now, the more I see my body, the more I love it…and it is a great feeling.
7. Learn to be alone – one of the best things you can do for your self-esteem is to treat yourself like you want someone else to treat you. Date yourself, go out alone to dinner or the movies, and realize that you are great company!
6. Exercise – even if it’s just a little bit. Just like massages and other physical pampering, exercise is proven to have a positive effect on your body as well as your brain. Don’t focus on weight, and I would even go so far as to advise that you get rid of that scale. But exercise is proven to help both physically and mentally, especially with mental health concerns such as depression. Moreover, don’t obsess about food or lack thereof. Eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full, and concentrate on making sure your body feels healthy.
5. Read and watch things of substance – idling away time is one of my favorite things to do, and I do not see anything wrong with it. I do know, however, that I always feel a little bit worse about myself after reading celebrity magazines and watching trashy television. They are simply going to make you compare yourself to people who aren’t even real, when in fact you should not be comparing yourself to anyone except yourself. So watch all the Family Guy you want, as long as you put down the latest edition of In Touch magazine that points out actresses’ cellulite.
4. Challenge yourself - every so often, do something that scares the shit out of you. Life is all about taking risks, and if you confront something that petrifies you head-on you can show yourself that you have the guts to face your fears. And most likely, you will find out that it’s not so bad; you might even begin to feel infallible.
3. Surround yourself with positive people - negativity will simply bring your levels of happiness and self-esteem down. Of course everyone has to deal with the good and the bad of life, but try to step away from drama and negative people who confirm your self-doubts. If you are anything like me, you judge yourself enough, so you certainly don’t need it from other people.
2. Pursue your passions - find out what makes you tick and go after it. Whether it is your friends, your family, your career, or even your part-time blog, focus on things that create intensity inside you. If you love something, then it is much easier to be good at it and feel as if your life has purpose.
1. Smile - seriously, it works. Even better…LAUGH. Both of these are studied in terms of their beneficial effects on human psychology and physiology. Not only do smiling and laughing make you feel good, but the most attractive people are often the happiest.
Fabulous tips – I loved every single one of them :)
“Read and watch things of substance” – wow this is a really good tip. I feel so much more aware of the world and satisfied with myself when I read articles in TIME over the pathetic smut in PEOPLE.
<33 mermaid
A to the men. Fantastic tips. I’ve made an active effort to stop reading rubbish ‘women’s’ magazines (Cosmo and the like). I feel a lot better about my body/income/wardrobe/life when I’m not comparing it to a celebrity’s.
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