A Rotten Girl’s Survival Guide to College: Part 1
by Kelly
As colleges and universities across the nation open their doors to hordes of students and faculty members, textbooks sales are soaring and tearful (and maybe a little gleeful) parents are converting their children’s bedrooms into exercise and/or sewing rooms. Even Harlequin and I are starting classes & sharpening our pencils (this is the reason we have not updated since Monday, sorry readers!!). In the midst of all the new faces and exciting challenges, however, we’d like to take some time to give some tips to the incoming freshman class (and anyone else, actually, because although college is a bubble, sometimes it acts as a microcosm of society at large. Sometimes.)
To start off our multi-part series, here are some tips for the first month of the college semester:
1. Explore. I highly recommend getting to know your campus & the surrounding town/city. For example, it is very useful to know where you can have illicit sex around campus (the library, the woods, your Economics classroom). However, when the pressures of college life become overwhelming, I find it very relaxing to get off campus and explore the community beyond it. Although I cannot reveal the location, I live in a great college town with plenty of amenities and cute coffeehouses to amuse myself in. If you never get off campus, you become out of touch with reality . . . which is not always a good thing. Definitely take time out of your busy schedule to explore outside of the college bubble (alone or with a trusted companion).
2. Don’t Kiss and Tell. Not that it’s a secret or anything, but Harlequin and I had a lot of sex our freshman year. Now, how much is enough varies person to person, but let’s just say I wasn’t satisfied if I went one weekend without some nookie. That being said, I have one important piece of advice for all you kids out there: keep your cards close to your chest. Seriously. Have as much sex as you want, but do not kiss and tell. I bared all with basically all of my acquaintances and it came back to bite me in the ass. I can’t tell you how many times I was slapped with the label of slut. Potential boyfriends would catch whiff of my dirty, dirty past and they were gone faster than you can say “Madonna/whore complex.” While I could go on and on about how unfair it is that sexually active women are viewed negatively (while their male counterparts are seen as “studs” and “players”), when it comes down to it, I wish I had been more private about my sexcapades. It would have made my life easier (although, even if I did it all over again, I would most likely be just as honest and blunt).
3. Don’t Rush. You have four years to delve into your intended major and take all your core curriculum classes. Now is the time to take that African drumming class or Sociology (even if you plan on majoring in Business). Whatever piques your interest! I went into college thinking I’d be an English major. However two years worth of English, Economics, Philosophy, Business, Classics, and Women’s Studies classes later, I realized nothing quite fit. Finally, in the second semester of my Sophomore year, it all fell into place and now I’m a Government and History major. I’m completely happy with my decision, and if I hadn’t been open to trying out new subjects, I never would have stumbled upon it.
4. Put Yourself Out There. The best thing about college is meeting new people. Even if you’re not the most outgoing person, try to branch out and put yourself in situations that will allow you to make new friends. Join clubs that interest you, or athletic teams. There is something for everyone; even if you don’t make the hockey team there are intramural sports at most colleges and tons of pick-up Frisbee games. That being said, I found my best friends through classes and roommates and my current boyfriend at a party. The sky’s the limit in terms of meeting new people. So when you see that cute guy in the dining hall or that girl with the rad hot-pink sunglasses, go over and say hi. If you lack the confidence to do so, try complimenting them on their outfit or mentioning that you have a class together. They’ll be glad to meet you!
Hope these tips help you, and be sure to check back for more! Part 2 will deal with friendships gone sour and our favorite topic, alcohol!
Do you have wisdom to dispense to college students? Want us to talk about a particular topic in our next installment? Leave us a comment!
While I definitely agree with points 1, 3, and 4, I would be a little more cautious about #2. I mean, for one thing, you don’t “have” to have sex to enjoy college. For me (the nerd I am), my classes have really been the best part of college. And while I agree with what you said (even if you’re having lots of sex, that doesn’t make you a whore) I would add on that even if you’re *not* having any sex that doesn’t make you a total prude. Otherwise we’re still contributing to that dichotomy where women are either chaste, pure angels (with no sexual agency or desire of their own) or dripping fuck toys. We all make different choices, and sex is different for all of us. :) I wouldn’t want to think it defines my college experience though…
I’m glad to see you guys are still updating! It’s so busy being back at college. Looking forward to part 2 of the series!
I see what you mean, Dollyann. I just edited the “title” of number 2 from “Have Sex” to “Don’t Kiss and Tell” which was really what I was trying to get across. A pretty major oversight on my part. Does that make more sense to you? I definitely think being a virgin and/or choosing not to have lots of sex is very respectable.
I give you my official stamp of approval… erm, if I had one that is. :P
Seriously though, I understand what you mean a lot better now. And I think your point about how it’s unfair that women who enjoy sex (and LOTS of it! hee hee) get labelled as sluts or whores is much stronger–without taking away from the experience of girls who may choose not to have sex or limit their partners.
Unfortunately, your experience talks volumes. While guys can talk about who they banged the night before in the lockerroom, a girl on campus can’t get a boyfriend when she’s open about who’s she been with. Don’t kiss and tell… Sad but true and tested advice for incoming freshmen.
Great advice. Go girl. Also good to have an auntie on the other end of your texts. signed, sara’s auntie
Yeah, advice before people go off to uni (I’m in the UK – that’s what we call it!) is always a good thing. I don’t know if I would say that women students should avoid talking about their sex lives, though. Obviously it’s fine if a woman decides to keep things quiet, but equally I would respect any woman who decided to tell people.
I kissed and told. It’s not good :) It’s a social thing – girls who are known to sleep around are whores, girls who are known to not sleep around are frigid prudes. Girls that don’t tell are mysterious goddesses, whether they are doing the deed or not. Better to keep the mystery.
I really miss going to uni. Being an external student is great because I have a natural tendency to get intellectual at 2am when most tutors and lecturers are safely tucked up in their beddie bies, but I do miss getting to know other students and networking.
If I get my hands on $18K somewhere down the track I’m planning on going to the institute of applied sciences in Melbourne to do a Ba in Natural therapies – big jump from my sociology/anthro BA I’m currently doing, but one of the big attractions is you have to do in on campus and you get to do work experience and things.
I think that needs to be added to “Put yourself out there”. You may see that coffee with a friendly law student as just coffee, but 10 years down the track when she’s a big wig solicitor and you need to get out of a murder charge you’ll be glad you networked. Keep your connections and write down things like names, phone numbers and addresses of everyone – you never know when people will come in handy. It sounds like you’re kind of using people, but believe me when I say everyone is doing it – you never know, you could be on someones contact list as “girl to call in such and such a situation – keep in touch!”
[...] Check in next month for Part 3 of the Rotten Girl’s Survival Guide to College (or check out Part 1 [...]