She Lived Happily Ever After…Alone?

by Kelly

“Find the perfect partner at Singles.com”

“EquestrianSingles.com: The world’s largest equestrian community where singles find dates and friends to ride horses with.”

“Whether you are over 50, an older woman, or a single senior citizen; Prime Singles.net is the place for you to find friendship, romance, or love”

In an increasingly wireless world, the matchmaking industry has grown exponentially. Gone are the days of the matchmaker in “The Fiddler on the Roof” – a family friend or woman from the local town who personally selects two people “destined” to be together. Now people seeking that special someone look no further than their laptop computer. Sites such as Craigslist, Match.com, and OKCupid make searching for a partner easy & even fun. I know plenty of girlfriends who have ads on OKCupid and rave about the “fun tests & quizzes” and who have even successfully met people off the site.

While I have no problem with meeting a man (or woman) online, the commodification of love raises a question in my mind. Do you need a significant other to be complete?

Sometimes it feels like the whole world is conspiring to punish single people. When I fractured my arm last year, my doctor told me to have a family member or friend unwrap the bandages holding my splint in place every day so I could start getting some mobility back. However, sitting in my dorm room alone, I was forced to learn how to unwrap & rewrap my splint by myself (among a myriad of other basic chores, like getting dressed and holding a book open). For the first time I realized what it meant to be truly living on my own. I didn’t have my mother nearby to help zip up my favorite dress. I didn’t have my brother (or anyone stronger than me, regardless of gender) to open that jar of pickles for me. I most certainly did not have a boyfriend who could scratch that hard to reach spot on my back. I was alone.

Is that really so bad, though? I adapted pretty easily to life with one working arm. I can usually open up my own jars, and there are back scratching widgets available at the local Brookstone. What I really wanted was the companionship of a significant other. Someone to share my life, thoughts, and hopes with. I value my friendships but sometimes a girl just wants someone to kiss and to hold.

I’m not the only one who feels this way. Practically every Sex and the City episode deals with the question, “Is it okay to be single? Am I happy alone?” The show itself comes up with a rather straight-forward answer: for 96 episodes, the women are chasing (and chased by) various men, and by the end of the sixth season, each is happily ensconced in a long term relationship. We’re left with the Hollywood ending: “And they lived happily ever after”. Note the word “they”. It’s never “she lived happily ever after alone in her condo with her pet iguana.”

I think the dilemma can be summed up best by Miranda’s line in Season 4 of Sex and the City: “Society views single people our age as sad and pathetic.” However, I don’t think society is completely to blame. We think of ourselves as sad and pathetic if we don’t have a mate. That’s the real problem.

What are your thoughts? Are you happy to be alone, missing your single days, or hoping to find that special someone?

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