The Patriot’s Guide to Hating George Bush
by Kelly
Forget the American flag pin on your lapel, these days you’re not a true Patriot if you don’t support the Bush administration. Yeah I’m talking to you, Liberals! Enough with your legitimate complaints about the Iraq war, the mind-numbingly large deficit (482 billion dollars, baby), or the fact that our country makes the movie Idiocracy seem prophetic rather than comic. Just stop! It’s people like you who are the real terrorists. Instead of checking up on the library records of suspected terrorists we should be locking up Democrats one by one. (Independents, don’t you relax either…you are flip-flopping your way under suspicion as well).But wait! There may be hope for you heathens yet. It seems there is this funny little term called “loyal opposition”. Now, don’t ask me why, but our founding fathers believed that you could disagree with the current administration yet still be Patriotic. I know, I know – blasphemous, isn’t it? Let me explain:
It seems that the original writers of the Constitution didn’t think that everyone had to support the President and Cabinet in power. In fact, one of the basic tenets of the Constitution is that people should uphold and believe in the IDEA of the Constitution whether or not they support its current method of implementation by the government.
“Sweet shitake mushrooms!” you must be shouting. How could I have not thought of this sooner? How come the GOP is trying to paint people like Michelle Obama as unpatriotic for saying she has never been “proud of this country” before? Well, now you know they are misguided. Michelle is safe under the idea of loyal opposition. In fact, Michelle Obama might even be MORE PATRIOTIC than you! She waited faithfully her entire life to see an administration that she could be proud of…now that’s what I call loyal!
So maybe we don’t have to bleed red, white, AND blue to show our faith in the United States. Maybe that American flag you’ve been flying outside your cubicle can be placed back into a drawer (folded neatly of course). Instead, go refuse to put your hand over your chest during the national anthem. Really, I dare you. Seems like freedom of expression is something George Washington and Thomas Jefferson would have wanted.
Yours faithfully,
America’s #1 Fan
Ah yes, the current administration has scared a lot of people with that whole, “if you’re not with us you’re against us” spiel, haven’t they? Thanks for the post- I greatly enjoyed it!
Well said… There are still people that take the stance of, “America – Love it or leave it!” That’s completely antithetical to the idea of a democracy. Perhaps a better slogan would be, “Love it or change it.” Now who’s more patriotic? :)
Chaze – I agree. “Scared” is the right word to use, too. I’m sick of our government’s fear tactics (remember the color-coded terrorism threat levels? We were constantly at threat level “orange” in 2002).
Atypicalguy – I love your slogan. Thanks for commenting!