As fun as it is to poke fun at Bridezillas (considering the term itself is rather disparaging), the dirty little secret is that most of us, on our wedding day, buy into Bridezilla culture to some extent. It’s my day, we claim, and if I want a Rolling Stones cover band/Purple carnation centerpiece/Five-tier cake with spiders on it, then that’s my decision! Just take a look at this article entitled “Tips for the People Pleasing Bride (or Groom),” which states, “Just because you want to make the people you love happy does not mean you have to cover up what you think and feel. If you really don’t like orange as your main wedding color, but your mother-in-law to be keeps telling you it would make everything look even better, then just tell her the truth . . . Simply tell her something like, ‘I’ve given it a lot of though and I really just think the color pink . . . would reflect our personalities more.’” Because, ladies, it’s about what color flower fits your personality not your mother-in-law’s.

If I seem to be a little tongue-in-cheek, forgive me. As one of those hopeless romantic types, I do think marriage can be a wonderful way to celebrate the lifelong coupling with your significant other (which, by the way, should be allowed for people of all sexual orientations). However, I struggle with the concept that the better your wedding day, the better the marriage. In fact, that is the notion the wedding industry wants you to believe. As ludicrous as it seems, the wedding industry isn’t just selling the perfect day but the perfect marriage. Want to ride off into the sunset of marital bliss? Make sure you have the right dress, photographs to commemorate the event for years to come, and registered gifts from your guests that will outfit your marital home. The wedding industry wants to capitalize on a single day of your life by selling you a fairy-tale fantasy. They realize that in a society with such high divorce rates, this fantasy is priceless to the newly engaged.

The sheer size of the wedding industry can make the task of planning your wedding seem daunting. While you could always get a wedding planner, many couples want to be involved in every step of the wedding planning process. Sites such as The Knot offer a wealth of information for engaged couples – where to buy dresses, what destinations are great for honeymoons, and wedding favor suggestions. While it seems like a great one-stop site for planning your special day, it is also a portal into the consumerism behind the wedding industry. Not only does the site dispense advice but it tells you what to buy and where. Never heard of unity candles? Well neither have I, but you can purchase a personalized one for $54.95. Since no wedding is complete without unity candles, of course.

It seems to me that the consumer culture surrounding weddings not only endorses partaking in traditions but creating new ones. The wealth of options, as one bridal store exclaims, “can make your special day unique!” However, the commodification of romance means that as creative as you try to be, your wedding will likely end up being rather cookie-cutter. No matter how large your budget, weddings seem to follow certain formats (engagement party, ceremony, reception, honeymoon). Somewhat ironically, it is when their wedding doesn’t meet some intangible level of perfection that most Bridezillas devolve into tears, thus earning their infamous moniker. As cynical as I may seem about the entire wedding culture, there are hundreds of brides (and grooms!) every year who buy into the image of a perfect wedding – no matter the cost.

- Dollface

What are your thoughts on Bridezilla culture? Do you want to get married someday, and if so, do you fantasize about the “perfect wedding”? Was your wedding non-traditional? Please share!

For more on wedding culture, read my review of One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding.